But such a bustle and clatter, such jabbering, such shrieking and swaring, such wollies of oafs and axicrations as saluted us on landing, I never knew! We were boarded, in the fust place, by custom-house officers in cock-hats, who seased our luggitch, and called for our passpots: then a crowd of inn-waiters came, tumbling and screaming on deck--"Dis way, sare," cries one; "Hotel Meurice," says another; "Hotel de Bang," screeches another chap--the tower of Babyle was nothink to it.

The fust thing that struck me on landing was a big fellow with ear-rings, who very nigh knock me down, in wrenching master's carpet-bag out of my hand, as I was carrying it to the hotell.
But we got to it safe at last; and, for the fust time in my life, I slep in a foring country.
I shan't describe this town of Balong, which, as it has been visited by not less (on an avaridg) than two milliums of English since I fust saw it twenty years ago, is tolrabbly well known already.

It's a dingy melumcolly place, to my mind; the only thing moving in the streets is the gutter which runs down 'em.

As for wooden shoes, I saw few of 'em; and for frogs, upon my honor I never see a single Frenchman swallow one, which I had been led to beleave was their reg'lar, though beastly, custom.

One thing which amazed me was the singlar name which they give to this town of Balong.