"I will die for the lack of comforts--of the decencies of life, even--to say nothing of being poisoned by these horrible smells, or driven distracted by the raving sick and that boor of a Surgeon.

But I can not draw back; I would rather die than go back to Sardis with a confession of failure at the very outset of my attempt to play the heroine." Then she remembered her last words to Harry Glen: "I only know that you have failed where a number of commonplace men have succeeded, and that is sufficient." Would she subject herself to having him throw these words in her teeth?
No.

Any shape of trial and death, rather..