'Pretty merry Letty Lovelace's rudder lost and she cast away, and handsome Jack Spiggot stranded on the shore like a drunken Trinculo.' What was it that insulted Nature (to use no higher name), and perverted her kindly intentions towards them?
What cursed frost was it that nipped the love that both were bearing, and condemned the girl to sour sterility, and the lad to selfish old-bachelorhood?
It was the infernal Snob tyrant who governs us all, who says, 'Thou shalt not love without a lady's maid; thou shalt not marry without a carriage and horses; thou shalt have no wife in thy heart, and no children on thy knee, without a page in buttons and a French BONNE; thou shalt go to the devil unless thou hast a brougham; marry poor, and society shall forsake thee; thy kinsmen shall avoid thee as a criminal; thy aunts and uncles shall turn up their eyes and bemoan the sad, sad manner in which Tom or Harry has thrown himself away.' You, young woman, may sell yourself without shame, and marry old Croesus; you, young man, may lie away your heart and your life for a jointure.

But if 'you are poor, woe be to you! Society, the brutal Snob autocrat, consigns you to solitary perdition.

Wither, poor girl, in your garret; rot, poor bachelor, in your Club.
When I see those graceless recluses--those unnatural monks and nuns of the order of St.Beelzebub, (1) my hatred for Snobs, and their worship, and their idols, passes all continence.

Let us hew down that man-eating Juggernaut, I say, that hideous Dagon; and I glow with the heroic courage of Tom Thumb, and join battle with the giant Snob.
(1) This, of course, is understood to apply only to those unmarried persons whom a mean and Snobbish fear about money has kept from fulfilling their natural destiny.

Many persons there are devoted to celibacy because they cannot help it.