Tender girls wither into shrunken decay, and perish solitary, from whom Snobbishness has cut off the common claim to happiness and affection with which Nature endowed us all.

My heart grows sad as I see the blundering tyrant's handiwork.

As I behold it I swell with cheap rage, and glow with fury against the Snob.

Come down, I say, thou skulking dulness! Come down, thou stupid bully, and give up thy brutal ghost! And I arm myself with the sword and spear, and taking leave of my family, go forth to do battle with that hideous ogre and giant, that brutal despot in Snob Castle, who holds so many gentle hearts in torture and thrall.
When PUNCH is king, I declare there shall be no such thing as old maids and old bachelors.

The Reverend Mr.Malthus shall be burned annually, instead of Guy Fawkes.