Young man--eh--I beg to know the name of your father and mother ?' This was galling a wound that has festered for years, and I did not endure the question so patiently as those which preceded it; but replied, 'I demand, in my turn, to know if I am before an English Justice of the Peace ?' 'His worship, Squire Foxley, of Foxley Hall, has been of the quorum these twenty years,' said Master Nicholas.
'Then he ought to know, or you, sir, as his clerk, should inform him,' said I, 'that I am the complainer in this case, and that my complaint ought to be heard before I am subjected to cross-examination.' 'Humph--hoy--what, aye--there is something in that, neighbour,' said the poor Justice, who, blown about by every wind of doctrine, seemed desirous to attain the sanction of his brother squire.
'I wonder at you, Foxley,' said his firm-minded acquaintance; 'how can you render the young man justice unless you know who he is ?' 'Ha--yes--egad, that's true,' said Mr.Justice Foxley; 'and now--looking into the matter more closely--there is, eh, upon the whole--nothing at all in what he says--so, sir, you must tell your father's name, and surname.' 'It is out of my power, sir; they are not known to me, since you must needs know so much of my private affairs.' The Justice collected a great AFFLATUS in his cheeks, which puffed them up like those of a Dutch cherub, while his eyes seemed flying out of his head, from the effort with which he retained his breath.

He then blew it forth with,--'Whew!--Hoom--poof--ha!--not know your parents, youngster ?--Then I must commit you for a vagrant, I warrant you.

OMNE IGNOTUM PRO TERRIBILI, as we used to say at Appleby school; that is, every one that is not known to the Justice; is a rogue and a vagabond.
Ha!--aye, you may sneer, sir; but I question if you would have known the meaning of that Latin, unless I had told you.' I acknowledged myself obliged for a new edition of the adage, and an interpretation which I could never have reached alone and unassisted.

I then proceeded to state my case with greater confidence.

The Justice was an ass, that was clear; but if was scarcely possible he could be so utterly ignorant as not to know what was necessary in so plain a case as mine.