Lord bless you--first I had to lay the specification before the Court of Chancery, and write a petition to the Queen, and pay, and, what is worse, wait.

When I had paid and waited, I got my petition signed, not by the Queen, but by some go-between, and then I must take it to the Attorney-general.

He made me pay--and wait.
When I had waited ever so long, I was sent back to where I had come from--the Home Office.

But even then I could not get to the Queen.
Another of her go-betweens nailed me, and made me pay, and wait: these locusts steal your time as well as your money.

At last, a copy of a copy of a copy of my patent got to the Queen, and she signed it like a lady at once, and I got it back.