I deserve to lose my rank.

How could I have been such a blind, idiotic baby!" He was obliged to confess, though, that the trick, if such it proved to be, had been well planned and executed, and the stipulation of the man that he should be paid fifty pounds if the boat was captured had completely thrown dust into his eyes.
More than once, as the cutter rushed on through the darkness, he found himself wondering whether, after all, he was wrong, and that the man had slipped away, so as to avoid being recognised when the smuggling vessel was captured, for, if seen, he would be a marked man.
"And, perhaps, in a few minutes, the smuggler would have been coming into the little bay, I should have taken her, redeemed my reputation, been looked upon as a smart officer, my crew would have got a nice bit of prize money, and the fellow would have come stealthily some night for his reward .-- I've done wrong.

Would there be time to go back ?" He was on the point of bidding the men "'bout ship," when a firm belief in his having been cheated came over him, and he kept on.
Then there was another season of doubt--and then of assurance--another of doubt, till the poor little fellow grew half bewildered, and gazed around, longing for the daylight and his old moorings, so that he might send a boat ashore, and carefully examine the ground, to see if he could trace any signs of landing having gone on.
At last, just at daybreak, the cutter was about to make a dash, and run right down for her old berth, when one of the men shouted "Sail ho!" He raised his glass, and there, hull down, were the three masts of a lugger, a Frenchman without a doubt, and his suspicions had their just confirmation.
His immediate thought was to give chase, but the swift sailing vessel was well away with a favourable wind, and she would most probably get across the Channel before he could overtake her, and even if he were so lucky as to catch up to her, what then?
She would not have a keg or bale on board which would give him an excuse for detaining her; and wrinkling up his brow, he went on more satisfied that he had been deluded away, so as to give the _chasse maree_ an opportunity to come in and rapidly run her cargo.
He saw it all now.

No sooner had he passed round the race, than lights had been shown, and the lugger was run in.

He felt as certain as if he had seen everything, and he ground his teeth with vexation.
"Wait till I get my chance!" he muttered.