I turned my livin' wild beasts of Pray loose into the streets, and split all my wax-works.
"I then Bet I cood play hoss.

So I hitched myself to a kanawl bote, there bein' two other hosses behind and anuther ahead of me.

But the hosses bein' onused to such a arrangemunt, begun to kick and squeal and rair up.

Konsequents was, I was kicked vilently in the stummuck and back, and presently, I found myself in the kanawl with the other hosses, kikin and yellin like a tribe of Cusscaroorus savajis.

I was rescood, and as I was bein carried to the tavern on a hemlock bored I sed in a feeble voice, 'Boys, playin' hoss isn't my Fort.' "_Moral: Never don't do nothin' which isn't your Fort, for ef you do you'll find yourself splashin' round in the kanawl, figuratively speakin._" The following advertisement, which appeared day after day in a Western paper, did not bring a single reply:-- "Wanted .-- Situation by a Practical Printer, who is competent to take charge of any department in a printing and publishing house.