Do you know I'm a hundred years old ?" "Are you, though ?" said I.

"People must have had bigger pockets in those days than they have now!" This I considered a very fair retort for his arrogance, and left him snorting and croaking to himself, and bullying some other little watches, whom, I suppose, he imagined would be more deferential to his grey hairs than I was.
I was not destined, however, to be left in peace.
"Who are you ?" I heard a sharp voice say.

Looking round, I saw a creature with a great eye in the middle of his face, and a long, lanky hand spinning round and round over his visage.
"Who are _you_, rather ?" I replied.
It was evidently what he wanted, for he began at once: "I'm all the latest improvements--compensation balance and jewelled in four holes; perfect for time, beauty, and workmanship; sound, strong, and accurate; with keyless action, and large full-dial second hand; air-tight, damp- tight, and dust-tight; seven guineas net and five per cent, to teetotalers.

There, what do you think of that ?" "I think," said I, with a laugh, in which a good many others joined, "that if you're so tight as all that teetotalers had better do without you." It will be observed the scenes and company I had been in of late years had tended to improve neither my temper nor my manners.
In this way we spent most of the day before the auction, and it was quite a relief early next morning to find ourselves being removed to the "Central Mart." It was impossible, however, to resist the temptation of another quarrel in our tray while we were waiting for the sale to begin.

The culprit in this instance was a certain Queen Anne's shilling attached to the chain of an insignificant-looking watch.
"What business has that ugly bit of tin here ?" asked a burly hunter.
"Who calls me an ugly bit of tin ?" squeaked out the coin.
"I do; there!" said the hunter; "now what have you got to say ?" "Only that you're a falsehood.