[The Autobiography of Methuselah by John Kendrick Bangs]@TWC D-Link book
The Autobiography of Methuselah

CHAPTER IX
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I am quite sure that as long as her votes are kept separate from the men's votes, and are _not_ counted, no possible harm can come from a little complacency in the face of ...

Personally I have no objection to divorce.

If a man marries a woman under the impression that she is a good cook, and after the waning of the honeymoon finds that she does not know the difference between sponge-cake and a plain common garden sponge, why should he be forced forevermore to court dyspepsia on her account?
I fail to see either justice or reason in this, though as to the method of divorce I cannot agree with those who claim that as the man has married the woman by hitting her with a club, as I have already shown, the proper method of divorce is for the woman to return the blow with a rolling-pin.

The proper way to do is for the husband to be permitted to return the girl to her parents as not up to the specifications, or if she have no parents to dispose of her at the best bargain possible to one of his neighbors who may happen to be in need of a girl of that sort at that particular time....

But these Newport separations, as I believe they are called, are apt to prove embarrassing, particularly when the divorcees all happen to be present at the same dinner-table.
A lady whose hostess is the wife of her former husband, finding herself sitting opposite the divorced wife of her present husband, who has at one time or another been married to two or three other ladies at the board, is not likely to be able to comport herself with that degree of _savoir faire_ that is the ear-mark of the refined....
As for the mother-in-law, for certain reasons of a private nature I was not going to speak of her in these memoirs, but after mature reflection upon the subject I deem it my duty to posterity to say that....
SOME LONG-FELT WANTS I have often wished that in my youth I had studied science a little more carefully.


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