"And I reproach myself, you know.

All these years I might, if I had tried harder, have been something to my mother.
I might have managed it.

I thought--at least I felt--that she didn't encourage me.

But I was a beast to have been discouraged.

And now her wanting me has come just when it isn't her unclouded self that wants me.
It's as if--as if it had been raining all day, and just on sunset there comes a gleam in the west.