CHAPTER IX.
"In London my life is a ring of delight, In frolics I keep up the day and the night; I snooze at the Hummums till twelve, perhaps later, I rattle the bell, and I roar up the Waiter; 'Your Honour,' says he, and he makes me a leg; He brings me my tea, but I swallow an egg; For tea in a morning's a slop I renounce, So I down with a glass of good right cherry-bounce.
With--swearing, tearing--ranting, jaunting--slashing, smashing--smacking, cracking--rumbling, tumbling -- laughing, quaffing--smoking, joking--swaggering, Staggering: So thoughtless, so knowing, so green and so mellow, This, this is the life of a frolicsome fellow." ~101~~UPON entering the house, and depositing their shilling each to view this newly discovered animal from the Apalachian mountains of America, and being supplied with immense long bills descriptive of his form and powers--"Come along (said Sparkle,) let us have a look at the most wonderful production of nature--only seventeen months old, five feet ten inches high, and one of the most fashionable fellows in the metropolis." "It should seem so," said Tallyho, "by the long list of friends and visitors that are detailed in the commencement of the bill of fare." "Perhaps," said Tom, "there are more Bon asses than one." "Very likely (continued Sparkle;) but let me tell you the allusion in this case does not apply, for this animal has nothing of the donkey about him, and makes no noise, as you will infer from the following lines in the Bill: "As the Bonassus does not roar, His fame is widely known, For no dumb animal before Has made such noise in town." ~102~~At this moment the barking of a dog assailed their ears, and suspended the conversation.

Passing onward to the den of the Bonassus, they found a dark-featured gentleman of middling stature, with his hair, whiskers, and ears, so bewhitened with powder as to form a complete contrast with his complexion and a black silk handkerchief which he wore round his neck, holding a large brown-coloured dog by the collar, in order to prevent annoyance to the visitors.
"D----n the dog, (exclaimed he) although he is the best tempered creature in the world, he don't seem to like the appearance of the Bonassus "-- and espying Sparkle, "Ha, my dear fellow! how are you ?--I have not seen you for a long while." "Why, Sir D--n--ll, I am happy to say I never was better in my life--allow me to introduce you to my two friends, the Hon.

Mr.Dashall, and Robert Tallyho--Sir D--n--ll Harlequin." The mutual accompaniments of such an introduction having passed among them, the Knight, who was upon the moment of departure as they entered, expressed his approbation of the animal he had been viewing, and, lugging his puppy by one hand, and his cudgel in the other, wished them a good morning.
"There is an eccentric man of Title," continued Sparkle.
"I should judge," said Bob, "there was a considerable portion of eccentricity about him, by his appearance.

Is he a Baronet ?" "A Baronet," (replied Sparkle) "no, no, he is no other than a _Quack Doctor_."{1} 1 Of all the subjects that afford opportunities for the satiric pen in the Metropolis, perhaps there is none more abundant or prolific than that of Quackery.

Dr.Johnson observes, that "_cheats can seldom stand long against laughter_." But if a judgment is really to be formed from existing facts, it may be supposed that times are so materially changed since the residence of that able writer in this sublunary sphere, that the reverse of the position may with greater propriety be asserted.