I then pulled out a piece of good cake, and held it up, giving him to understand, that I did not care a farthing for his trash.

Neither do I; and I only regret, that I did not thrash the scoundrel's hide, that he might remember how he insulted me, and abused my country.' We may learn from hence, that if there are not two ways of telling a story, there are at least two ways of understanding Signs, and also of interpreting them." This story, which was told with considerable effect by their merry companion, alternately called forth loud bursts of laughter, induced profound silence, and particularly interested and delighted young Mortimer and Tallyho; while Merrywell kept the glass in circulation, insisting on _no day-light_{1} nor _heel-taps_,{2} and the lads began to feel themselves all in high feather.

Time was passing in fearless enjoyment, and Frank Harry being called on by Merrywell for a song, declared he had no objection to tip 'em a rum chant, provided it was agreed that it should go round.
This proposal was instantly acceded to, a promise made that he should not be at a loss for a good _coal-box_;{3} and after a little more rosin, without which, he said, he could not pitch the key-note, he sung the following~266~~ SONG.
Oh, London! dear London! magnanimous City, Say where is thy likeness again to be found?
Here pleasures abundant, delightful and pretty, All whisk us and frisk us in magical round; 1 No day-light--That is to leave no space in the glass; or, in other words, to take a bumper.
2 Heel-taps--To leave no wine at the bottom.
3 Coal-box--A very common corruption of chorus.
Here we have all that in life can merry be, Looking and laughing with friends Hob and Nob, More frolic and fun than there's bloom on the cherry-tree, While we can muster a _Sovereign Bob_.
(Spoken)--Yes, yes, London is the large world in a small compass: it contains all the comforts and pleasures of human life--"Aye aye, (says a Bumpkin to his more accomplished Kinsman) Ye mun brag o' yer Lunnun fare; if smoak, smother, mud, and makeshift be the comforts and pleasures, gie me free air, health and a cottage."-- Ha, ha, ha, Hark at the just-catch'd Johnny Rata, (says a bang-up Lad in a lily-shallow and upper toggery) where the devil did you come from?
who let you loose upon society?
d------e, you ought to be coop'd up at Exeter 'Change among the wild beasts, the Kangaroos and Catabaws, and shewn as the eighth wonder of the world! Shew 'em in! Shew 'em in! stir him up with a long pole; the like never seen before; here's the head of an owl with the tail of an ass--all alive, alive O! D------me how the fellow stares; what a marvellous piece of a mop-stick without thrums.--"By gum (says the Bumpkin) you looks more like an ape, and Ise a great mind to gie thee a douse o' the chops."-- You'd soon find yourself chop-fallen there, my nabs, (replies his antagonist)--you are not up to the gammon--you must go to College and learn to sing Oh, London! dear London! &c.
Here the streets are so gay, and the features so smiling, With uproar and noise, bustle, bother, and gig; The lasses (dear creatures! ) each sorrow beguiling, The Duke and the Dustman, the Peer and the Prig; Here is his Lordship from gay Piccadilly, There an ould Clothesman from Rosemary Lane; Here is a Dandy in search of a filly, And there is a Blood, ripe for milling a pane.
(Spoken)--All higgledy-piggledy, pigs in the straw--Lawyers, Lapidaries, Lamplighters, and Lap-dogs--Men-milliners, Money-lenders, and Fancy Millers, Mouse-trap Mongers, and Matchmen, in one eternal round of variety! Paradise is a pail of cold water in comparison with its unparalleled pleasures--and the wishing cap of Fortunatus could not produce a greater abundance of delight--Cat's Meat--Dog's Meat--Here they are all four a penny, hot hot hot, smoking hot, piping hot hot Chelsea Buns--Clothes sale, clothes--Sweep, sweep--while a poor bare-footed Ballad Singer with a hoarse discordant voice at intervals chimes in with "They led me like a pilgrim thro' the labyrinth of care, You may know me by my sign and the robe that I wear;" ~267~~ so that the concatenation of sounds mingling all at once into one undistinguished concert of harmony, induces me to add mine to the number, by singing-- Oh, London! dear London! &c.
The Butcher, whose tray meets the dough of the Baker, And bundles his bread-basket out of his hand; The Exquisite Lad, and the dingy Flue Faker,{1} And coaches to go that are all on the stand: Here you may see the lean sons of Parnassus, The puffing Perfumer, so spruce and so neat; While Ladies, who flock to the fam'd Bonassus, Are boning our hearts as we walk thro' the street.
(Spoken)--"In gude truth," says a brawney Scotchman, "I'se ne'er see'd sic bonny work in a' my liefe--there's nae walking up the streets without being knock'd doon, and nae walking doon the streets without being tripp'd up."-- "Blood-an-oons, (says an Irishman) don't be after blowing away your breath in blarney, my dear, when you'll want it presently to cool your barley broth."-- "By a leaf," cries a Porter with a chest of drawers on his knot, and, passing between them, capsizes both at once, then makes the best of his way on a jog-trot, humming to himself, Ally Croaker, or Hey diddle Ho diddle de; and leaving the fallen heroes to console themselves with broken heads, while some officious friends are carefully placing them on their legs, and genteelly easing their pockets of the possibles; after which they toddle off at leisure, to sing Oh, London! dear London! &c.
Then for buildings so various, ah, who would conceive it, Unless up to London they'd certainly been?
'Tis a truth, I aver, tho' you'd scarcely believe it, That at the Court end not a Court's to be seen; Then for grandeur or style, pray where is the nation For fashion or folly can equal our own?
Or fit out a fete like the grand Coronation?
I defy the whole world, there is certainly none.
(Spoken)--Talk of sights and sounds--is not there the Parliament House, the King's Palace, and the Regent's Bomb--The Horse-guards, the Body-guards, and the Black-guards--The Black-legs, and the Bluestockings--The Horn-blower, and the Flying Pie-man--The Indian Juggler--Punch and Judy--( imitating the well-known Show-man)--The young and the old, the grave and the gay--The modest Maid and the willing Cyprian--The Theatres--The Fives Court and the Court of Chancery--~268~~ 1 Flue Faker--A cant term for Chimney-sweep.
The Giants in Guildhall, to be seen by great and small, and, what's more than all, the Coronation Ball-- Mirth, fun, frolic, and frivolity, To please the folks of quality: For all that can please the eye, the ear, the taste, the touch, the smell, Whether bang-up in life, unfriended or undone, No place has such charms as the gay town of London.
Oh, Loudon! dear London! &c.
The quaint peculiarities of the Singer gave indescribable interest to this song, as he altered his voice to give effect to the various cries of the inhabitants, and it was knock'd down with three times three rounds of applause; when Merrywell, being named for the next, sung, accompanied with Dashall and Frank Harry, the following GLEE.
"Wine, bring me wine--come fill the sparkling glass, Brisk let the bottle circulate; Name, quickly name each one his fav'rite lass, Drive from your brows the clouds of fate: Fill the sparkling bumper high, Let us drain the bottom dry.
Come, thou grape-encircled Boy! From thy blissful seats above, Crown the present hours with joy, Bring me wine and bring me love: Fill the sparkling bumper high, Let us drain the bottom dry.
Bacchus, o'er my yielding lip Spread the produce of thy vine; Love, thy arrows gently dip, Temp'ring them with generous wine: Fill the sparkling bumper high, Let us drain the bottom dry." In the mean time, the enemy of life was making rapid strides upon them unheeded, till Dashall reminded Merrywell of their intended visit to the East; and that as he expected a large portion of amusement in that quarter, he proposed a move.
They were by this time all well primed--ripe for a rumpus--bang-up for a lark or spree, any where, any how, or with any body; they therefore took leave of their present scene of gaiety.~269~~.