"You and she have spoiled me for other women, and now you have placed me beyond temptation with such a cook." So it came to pass that Carmichael, who knew nothing about fine cooking till Sarah formed his palate with her cunning sauces, and, after all, cared as little what he ate as any other healthy young man, boasted of his housekeeper continually by skilful allusions, till the honest wives of his fathers and brethren were outraged and grew feline, as any natural woman will if a servant is flung in her face in this aggravating fashion.
"I 'm glad to hear you 're so well pleased, Mr.Carmichael," Mrs.
MacGuffie would say, who was full of advice, and fed visitors on the produce of her garden, "but no man knows comfort till he marries.

It's a chop one day and a steak the next all the year round--nothing tasty or appetising; and as for his shirts, most bachelors have to sew on their own buttons.

Ah, you all pretend to be comfortable, but I know better, for Mr.MacGuffie has often told me what he suffered." Whereat Carmichael would rage furiously, and then, catching sight of MacGuffie, would bethink him of a Christian revenge.

MacGuffie was invited up to a day of humiliation--Sarah receiving for once _carte blanche_--and after he had powerfully exhorted the people from the words, "I am become like a bottle in the smoke," he was conducted to the manse in an appropriately mournful condition, and set down at the table.

He was inclined to dwell on the decadence of Disruption principles during soup, but as the dinner advanced grew wonderfully cheerful, and being installed in an arm-chair with a cup of decent coffee beside him, sighed peacefully, and said, "Mr.Carmichael, you have much cause for thankfulness." Mr.MacGuffie had not come to the age of sixty, however, without learning something, and he only gave his curious spouse to understand that Carmichael had done all in his power to make his guest comfortable, and was not responsible for his servant's defects.
[Illustration: "Mr.Carmichael, you have much cause for thankfulness."] Ladies coming with their husbands to visit the manse, conceived a prejudice against Sarah on the general ground of dislike to all housekeepers as a class of servants outside of any mistress's control, and therefore apt to give themselves airs, and especially because this one had a subtle suggestion of independent personality that was all the more irritating because it could not be made plain to the dull male intelligence, which was sadly deceived.
"What a lucky man Carmichael is on his first venture!" Even Dr.
Dowbiggin, of St.Columba's, Muirtown, grew enthusiastic to his wife in the privacy of their bedchamber on a sacramental visit, and every one knows that the Doctor was a responsible man, ministering to four bailies and making "overtures" to the Assembly, beginning with "Whereas" and ending with "Venerable House." "I am extremely pleased to see.