Nothing was turning out as he had planned.

He had not counted on the officers or her predilection for Italian.

He had not counted on chasing donkeys in person while she stood and looked on--Beppo was to have attended to that.

He had not counted on anything quite so absurd as his heroic capture of Fidilini.
Since she must let the donkey run away with her, why, in the name of all that was romantic, could it not have occurred by moonlight?
Why, when he caught the beast, could it not have been by the bridle instead of the tail?
And above all, why could she not have fallen into his arms, instead of on top of him?
The stage scenery was set for romance, but from the moment the curtain rose the play had persisted in being farce.

However, farce or romance, it was all one to him so long as he could play leading-man; what he objected to was the minor part.