CHAPTER XXIII.
IN WHICH MISFORTUNE EMPTIES HER LAST VIAL UPON THE HEAD OF MR.
SCHNACKENBERGER.
Exhausted by the misfortunes of the day, towards evening Mr.Jeremiah was reposing at his length, and smoking in the window-seat of his room.
Solemn clouds of smoke expressed the gloomy vapours which rested on his brain.

The hours of Juno's life, it seemed to him, were numbered; every soul in B----was her sworn foe--bipeds and quadrupeds, men, women, dogs, cats, children, kittens, deputy-recorders, rabbits, cooks, legs-of-mutton, to say nothing of goose-livers, sausages, haunches of venison, and 'quilts.'-- If he were to take country-lodgings for her, and to send her out of B----, what awaited her there?
Whither could she go, but some butcher--some butterwoman--some rough-rider or other had a private account to settle with her?
--'Unhappy creature!' ejaculated the student, 'torment of my life!' At this moment Mr.Schnackenberger's anxious ruminations were further enforced by the appearance of the town-crier under his window: inert as the town-council were in giving effect to their own resolutions, on this occasion it was clear that they viewed the matter as no joke; and were bent on rigorously following up their sentence.

For the crier proclaimed the decree by beat of drum; explained the provisos of the twelve hours' truce, and enjoined all good citizens, and worthy patriots, at the expiration of that period, to put the public enemy to the sword, wherever she should be found, and even to rise _en masse_, if that should be necessary, for the extermination of the national robber--as they valued their own private welfare, or the honour and dignity of the state.
'English fiend!' said Mr.Schnackenberger, 'will nothing reclaim thee?
Now that I am rid of my German plague, must I be martyred by my English plague ?' For be it mentioned that, on our hero's return from the council, he had received some little comfort in his afflictions from hearing that Mrs.Sweetbread had, upon her return to B----, testified her satisfaction with the zealous leader of the butchers' boys, by forthwith bestowing upon him her widowed hand and heart, together with the Sow and its appurtenances.

'English fiend!' resumed Mr.
Schnackenberger, 'most _e_dacious and _au_dacious of quadrupeds! can nothing be done for thee?
Is it impossible to save thy life ?' And again he stopped to ruminate.

For her _meta_physics it was hopeless to cure; but could nothing be done for her _physics_?
At the university of X---- she had lived two years next door neighbour to the Professor of Moral Philosophy, and had besides attended many of his lectures without any sort of benefit to her morals, which still continued of the very worst description.