[The Uncollected Writings of Thomas de Quincey, Vol. 2 by Thomas de Quincey]@TWC D-Link book
The Uncollected Writings of Thomas de Quincey, Vol. 2

CHAPTER XX
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IN WHICH MR.

SCHNACKENBERGER ACTS UPON THE AMBITIOUS FEELINGS OF A MAN IN OFFICE FOR AN AMIABLE PURPOSE.
Next morning, when the Provost-marshal came to fetch back the appointments of the military wig-maker, it struck our good-natured student that he had very probably brought the poor fellow into an unpleasant scrape.

He felt, therefore, called upon as a gentleman, to wait upon the Mayor, and do his best to beg him off.

In fact, he arrived just in time: for all the arrangements were complete for demonstrating to the poor wig-maker, by an _a posteriori_ line of argument, the importance of valour in his new employment.
Mr.Schnackenberger entreated the Mayor to be lenient: courage, he said, was not every man's business: as a wig-maker, the prisoner could have had little practice in that virtue: the best of wigs were often made by cowards: 'and even as a soldier,' said he, 'it's odds if there should be such another alarm for the next hundred years.' But all in vain: his judge was too much incensed: 'Such a scandalous dereliction of duty!' said he; 'No, no: I must make an example of him.' Hereupon, Mr.Jeremiah observed, that wig-makers were not the only people who sometimes failed in the point of courage: 'Nay,' said he, 'I have known even mayors who by no means shone in that department of duty: and in particular, I am acquainted with some who would look exceedingly blue, aye d----lish blue indeed, if a student whom I have the honour to know should take it into his head to bring before the public a little incident in which they figured, embellished with wood-cuts, representing a retreat by forced marches towards a bell in the background.' Mr.Mayor changed colour; and pausing a little to think, at length he said--'Sir, you are in the right; every man has his weak moments.

But it would be unhandsome to expose them to the scoffs of the public.' 'Why, yes, upon certain conditions.' 'Which conditions I comply with,' said his worship; and forthwith he commuted the punishment for a reprimand and a short confinement.
On these terms Mr.Schnackenberger assured him of his entire silence with respect to all that had passed..


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