Every one is grave in public, and funny in private.

My sense of humour suggests the reversal of this; it suggests that one should be funny in public, and solemn in private.

I desire to make the State functions, parliaments, coronations, and so on, one roaring old-fashioned pantomime.

But, on the other hand, I shut myself up alone in a small store-room for two hours a day, where I am so dignified that I come out quite ill." By this time Barker was walking up and down the room, his frock coat flapping like the black wings of a bird.
"Well, you will ruin the country, that's all," he said shortly.
"It seems to me," said Auberon, "that the tradition of ten centuries is being broken, and the House of Barker is rebelling against the Crown of England.

It would be with regret (for I admire your appearance) that I should be obliged forcibly to decorate your head with the remains of this hat, but--" "What I can't understand," said Barker flinging up his fingers with a feverish American movement, "is why you don't care about anything else but your games." The King stopped sharply in the act of lifting the silken remnants, dropped them, and walked up to Barker, looking at him steadily.
"I made a kind of vow," he said, "that I would not talk seriously, which always means answering silly questions.