"It has helped me just to say it all out.

I've wanted to all summer--every time you came.
I wanted to talk it over with you--but I COULDN'T.

It seemed as if it would make death so SURE if I SAID I was going to die, or if any one else said it or hinted it.

I wouldn't say it, or even think it.

In the daytime, when people were around me and everything was cheerful, it wasn't so hard to keep from thinking of it.