The number of wars necessarily increases with our productive activity.

As soon as one of our industries fails to find a market for its products a war is necessary to open new outlets.

It is in this way we have had a coal war, a copper war, and a cotton war.

In Third-Zealand we have killed two-thirds of the inhabitants in order to compel the remainder to buy our umbrellas and braces." At that moment a fat man who was sitting in the middle of the assembly ascended the tribune.
"I claim," said he, "a war against the Emerald Republic, which insolently contends with our pigs for the hegemony of hams and sauces in all the markets of the universe." "Who is that legislator ?" asked Doctor Obnubile.
"He is a pig merchant." "Is there any opposition ?" said the President.

"I put the proposition to the vote." The war against the Emerald Republic was voted with uplifted hands by a very large majority.
"What ?" said Obnubile to the interpreter; "you have voted a war with that rapidity and that indifference!" "Oh! it is an unimportant war which will hardly cost eight million dollars." "And men.