I shan't believe in anything if you....

Ah! but no, you don't really mean anything...." He saw that she was trembling and he bent forward, put his arm very gently round her as though he would protect her.
But she very strongly drew away from him, looked him in the face, then dropped her eyes, let her whole body droop as though she were most bitterly ashamed.
"I don't know," she said, "what I've been ...

what I've done.

During these last weeks I've been terrible to myself--and yet it's better too.

I didn't live a real life before, and now I see things as they are.