That pursuit--the excitement of the penetration into the dark forest--the thrill of the chase--those things were for the strong men, the brave women--not for the halt and maimed ...

not love nor glory, neither hate nor fierce rebellion were for such men as I....

I cursed my fate, my life, because I loved, not for the first time, a woman who was glad that I did not love her and was so sure that I did not and could not, that she could proclaim her satisfaction openly to me! I had an hour of bitterness--then, as I had so often done before, I laughed, drove the little devil into his cage, locked it, dropped the thick curtain in front of it.
I claimed the company of M.Francois Jammes.
He has a delightful poem about donkeys and as I read it I regained my tranquillity.

It begins: _Lorsqu'il faudra aller vers Vous, o mon Dieu, faites Que ce soit par un jour ou la campagne en fete Poudroiera.

Je desire, ainsi que je fis ici-bas, Choisir un chemin pour aller, comme il me plaira, Au Paradis, ou sont en plein jour les etoiles.
Je prendrai mon baton et sur la grande route J'irai et je dirai aux anes, mes amis: Je suis Francois Jammes et je vais au Paradis, Car il n'y a pas d'enfer au pays du Bon Dieu.
Je leur dirai: Venez, doux amis du ciel bleu, Pauvres betes cheries qui d'un brusque mouvement d'oreilles, Chassez les mouches plates, les coups et les abeilles...._ That brought tranquillity back to me.