Presently, with an effort, he staggered within doors, poured out such medicine as he had, and, bent double and almost without breath, swallowed it; and so, by-and-by, a wan and wild-eyed image of himself came out of the fit.
He told himself in after days that it was that decided him; that but for that sharp fit of pain and the prospect of others like it, he would not have yielded to the temptation, no, not to be the Grand Duke's favourite, not to be Minister of Savoy! He ignored, in his looking backward, the visions of glory and ambition in which he had revelled.

He saw himself on the rack, with life and immunity from pain drawing him one way, the prospect of a miserable death the other; and he pleaded that no man would have decided otherwise.

After that experience the straw did not float, so thin that he was not ready to grasp it rather than die, rather than suffer again.

Nor did the fact that the straw at that moment lay on the table beside him go for much.
It did lie there.

When he felt a little stronger and began to look about him, he found a note at his elbow.