[Under the Red Robe by Stanley Weyman]@TWC D-Link bookUnder the Red Robe CHAPTER XI 7/41
Would to Heaven I had never seen this woman, whose nobleness and faith were a continual shame to me; a reproach branding me every hour I stood in her presence with all vile and hateful names.
The man just gone, coarse, low-bred, brutal soldier as he was, manflogger and drilling-block, had yet found heart to feel my baseness, and words in which to denounce it. What, then, would she say, when the truth came home to her? What shape should I take in her eyes then? How should I be remembered through all the years then? Then? But now? What was she thinking now, at this moment as she stood silent and absorbed near the stone seat, a shadowy figure with face turned from me? Was she recalling the man's words, fitting them to the facts and the past, adding this and that circumstance? Was she, though she had rebuffed him in the body, collating, now he was gone, all that he had said, and out of these scraps piecing together the damning truth? Was she, for all that she had said, beginning to see me as I was? The thought tortured me.
I could brook uncertainty no longer.
I went nearer to her and touched her sleeve. 'Mademoiselle,' I said in a voice which sounded hoarse and unnatural even in my own ears, 'do you believe this of me ?' She started violently, and turned. 'Pardon, Monsieur!' she murmured, passing her hand over her brow; 'I had forgotten that you were here.
Do I believe what ?' 'What that man said of me,' I muttered. 'That!' she exclaimed.
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