Also I wished to see my father again before he passed beyond my reach.

But still between me and my desire lay the shadow of de Garcia and my oath.

I had brooded on vengeance for so long that I felt even in the midst of this strong temptation that I should have no pleasure in my life if I forsook my quest.

To be happy I must first kill de Garcia.

Moreover I had come to believe that did I so forsake it the curse which I had invoked would surely fall upon me.
Meanwhile I did this.