The first time, when at the end of his round he glanced at the broken food in his wallet, he felt his courage fail him.
But the thought of being so soon unfaithful to the spouse to whom he had plighted his faith made his blood run cold with shame and gave him strength to eat ravenously.[23] Each hour, so to speak, brought to him a new struggle.

One day he was going through the town begging for oil for the lamps of St.Damian, when he arrived at a house where a banquet was going on; the greater number of his former companions were there, singing and dancing.

At the sound of those well-known voices he felt as if he could not enter; he even turned away, but very soon, filled with confusion by his own cowardice, he returned quickly upon his steps, made his way into the banquet-hall, and after confessing his shame, put so much earnestness and fire into his request that every one desired to co-operate in this pious work.[24] His bitterest trial however was his father's anger, which remained as violent as ever.

Although he had renounced Francis, Bernardone's pride suffered none the less at seeing his mode of life, and whenever he met his son he overwhelmed him with reproaches and maledictions.

The tender heart of Francis was so wrung with sorrow that he resorted to a sort of stratagem for charming away the spell of the paternal imprecations.
"Come with me," he said to a beggar; "be to me as a father, and I will give you a part of the alms which I receive.