Let me not waver, and continue my life.

But I am sinful.
Oh, forgive my sins! What shall I do, O Lord! that they may be blotted out?
Lord, could I only blot them from my memory, nothing would be too great or too much." "July 18 .-- I have thought of my family this afternoon, and the happiness and love with which I might return to them.

To leave them, to give up the thought of living with them again--can I entertain that idea?
Still, I cannot conceive how I can engage in business, share the practices, and indulge myself with the food and garmenture (_sic_) of our home and city.

To return home, were it possible for me, would most probably not only stop my progress, but put me back.
"It is useless for me to speculate upon my future.

Put dependence on the spirit which leads me, be faithful to it; work, and leave results to God.