CHAPTER VI.
There wuz sights and sights of talk in Jonesville and the adjacent and surroundin' world about the World's Fair bein' open on Sundays.
There wuz sights and sights of fightin' back and forth about the rights and the wrongs of it.
And there wuz some talk about the saloons bein' open too, bein' open week days and Sundays.
But, of course, there wuzn't so much talk about that; it seemed to be all settled from the very first on't that the saloons wuz a-goin' to be open the hull of the time--that they must be.
Why, it seemed to be understood that drunkards had to be made and kep up; murderers, and asassins, and thieves, and robbers, and law-breakers of every kind, and fighters, and wife-beaters, and arsons, and rapiners, and child-killers had to be made.

That wuz neccessary, and considered so from the first.

For if this trade wuz to stop for even one day out of the seven, why, where would be the crimes and casualities, the cuttin's up and actin's, the murders and the suicides, to fill up the Sunday papers with?
And to keep the police courts full and a-runnin' over with business, and the prisons, and jails, and reformatorys full of victims, and the morgues full of dead bodies.
No; the saloons had to be open Sundays; that wuz considered as almost a settled thing from the very first on't.
Why, the nation must have considered it one of the neccessarys, or it wouldn't have gone into partnership with 'em, and took part of the pay.
But there wuz a great and almost impassioned fight a-goin' on about havin' the World's Fair, the broad gallerys of art and beauty, bein' open to the public Sunday.
Lots of Christian men and wimmen come right out and said, swore right up and down that if Christopher Columbus let folks come to his doin's on Sunday they wouldn't go to it at all.
I spoze mebby they thought that this would skare Christopher and make him gin up his doin's, or ruther the ones that wuz a-representin' him to Chicago.
They did talk fearfully skareful, and calculated to skare any man that hadn't went through with what Christopher had.

They said that ruther than have the young people who would be gathered there from the four ends of the earth--ruther than have these innocent young creeters contaminated by walkin' through them rooms and lookin' at them wonders of nature and art, why, they had ruther not have any Fair at all.
Why, I read sights and sights about it, and hearn powerful talk, and immense quantities of it.
And one night I hearn the most masterly and convincin' arguments brung up on both sides--arguments calculated to make a bystander wobble first one way and then the other, with the strength and power of 'em.
It wuz at a church social held to Miss Lums, and a number of us had got there early, and this subject wuz debated on before the minister got there.
Deacon Henzy wuz the one who give utterance to the views I have promulgated.
He said right out plain, "That no matter how keen the slight would be felt, he shouldn't attend to it if it wuz open Sunday." He said "that the country would be ruined if it took place." "Yes," sez Miss Cornelius Cork, "you are right, Deacon Henzy.

I wouldn't have Cornelius Jr.