CHAPTER V.
Hain't it curious how tellin' over a thing will bring back all of the circumstances a-surroundin' of it round--bring 'em all up fresh to you.
I wuz a-tellin' Krit about that Equinomical Counsel that wuz held to Washington, D.C.And though I hain't no hand and never wuz to find one word of fault with my dear companion to outsiders, still, as he wuz all in the family, I did say that his Uncle wuz at one time very anxious to go to it.
And after Krit went away--he had come over from Tirzah Ann's that day, and staid to supper with us--I sot there alone, for Josiah had took him back in the democrat, and all the circumstances of that time come back onto me agin.
It wuz on a Monday that I had my worst trial with him about that Equinomical Counsel, as I remember well.

And though I didn't tell Krit any of my worst tribulations with him, still, oh, how vivid they did come back to me, as I sot there alone, and a-seamin' two and two! As I say, it wuz on a Monday morning.

The two children had invited their Pa and me to visit a good deal durin' the week before, and I had got kind a behindhand with my work.
And then I had felt so kinder mauger for a few days, that Josiah insisted that I should git a young girl in the neighborhood to help me for a few days, Philury and Ury bein' away on a visit to some relations.
Wall, that day I had washin', bakin', churnin', and some fruit cake to make.
It fairly made me ache to think on't, the numbers and amounts of the work that pressed onto me, and nobody but that young girl to help me.
And she that took up with her bo, Almanzo Hagidone, that she wuz in a forgitful state more'n half the time, and liable to carry a armful of wood meant for the kitchen stove into the parlor, and put it end first onto the what-not, or pump water into Josiah's hat instead of the water-pail.
I tried to instil some common sense into her head, but her hair wuz bound up that tight with curl papers that nothin' could git past that ambuscade, so it would seem, but jest the image and the idee of Almanzo Hagidone.
Wall, I kep her pretty much in the wood-shed, when she wuz in her worst stages, where there wuzn't much besides the old cook-stove and wash-tubs that she could graze aginst and fall over.
I dast as well die as to trust her with vittles, for I felt that them wuz vital pints, and must not be meddled with by loonaticks or idiots, and with them two ranks I had to stand Mary Ann Spink in her most love-sick spazzums.
So I sot her to rubbin' onto Josiah's shirts, and I took my bowl of raisins and English currants and things into the kitchen and sot down calmly to pickin' 'em over and choppin' 'em.
My fruit cake is good, though I say it that ort not to; it is widely known and admired.
Wall, I sot there middlin' calm, and a-hummin' over a sam tune loud enough so's Mary Ann could hear it; and I hummed it, too, in a strictly moral way, and for a pattern; it was this: "Put not your trust in mortal man, Set not your hopes on him," etc., etc., etc.
[Illustration] And I see I wuz impressin' of her, for I could hear after a while from the wood-shed that she too had broke forth in song, and she was a-jinin' in, low and dretful impressive, with-- "Hark from the tombs a mournful sound." I don't think she meant my singin'-- Josiah did when we talked it over afterwards.
He believed it firm.
I believe I wuz a-moralizin' of her, and should have done good if I hadn't been broke in on.
But all of a sudden Josiah Allen fairly bust into the house, all wrought up, and fearful excited.
He had been a-talkin' with Deacon Henzy out by the gate, and I spoze Deacon Henzy had disseminated some new news to him.

But anyway he wuz crazy with a wild and startlin' idee.
[Illustration: A-talkin' with Deacon Henzy.] He wanted to set off to once to the Equinomical Counsel, which he said wuz a-goin' to be held by the male Methodists in Washington, D.C.

And, sez he-- "Samantha, git my fine shirt and my best necktie to once, for I want to start on the noon train." "What for ?" sez I coldly; for I discourage his wild projects all I can.
I have to act like a heavy weight in a clock movin' half the time, or he would be jest swept to and frow like a pendulum.