And he sez, "How a man duz enjoy seein' such things that he's ust to and knows all about!" And I sez, "What do you do with squids, anyway, or gaffs, or snells ?" "Why," sez he, "I should snell with 'em, and gaff, and squid.

What do you spoze ?" "How do you do it ?" sez I."How do you snell ?" And then he had to own up that he didn't know how it wuz done.
Truly it has been said that three questions will floor the biggest philosopher.

But it only took two to take the pride and vainglory out of Josiah Allen.
Wall, the information gathered together here from all parts of the world, and disseminated out to individuals of the collected world, will probable make a great difference in the enjoyment and practical benefit of the fisherman, and tell hard on the fishes of 1894.
Wall, we stayed round here a-lookin' at 'em different buildin's till dark, and then we didn't see a thousandth nor a millionth part of what wuz to be seen there.
And I hain't half described its wonders and glories as I'd ort to, and one reason is, nobody can describe any of the buildin's--no, not if they had the tongue of men and angels.
No, they are too stupendous to describe.
And then, agin, I have had a kind of a feelin' of delicacy that has kind of held me back--I have been hampered.
For I have kep such a tight grip holt of my principle all the while I've been describin' it, that it has weakened the grasp of my good right hand on my steel pen.
I knew well how hard, how almost impossible it wuz to talk about fishin' for any length of time without lyin'.
But I know I have told Josiah time and agin that it wuz possible to do it, if you kep a firm holt of the hellum, and leaned heavy on principle.
I have done it, and I am proud and happy in the thought.
Unless, mebby, I have lied the other way.

Good land! I didn't think of that; I wuz so determined to keep within bounds, that I am actually afraid that I've lied that way; in order not to tell the fish story too big, I hain't told it big enough.
Good land! I guess I won't boast any more.
Wall, seein' that I am in sunthin' of a hurry, I will let it go, and mebby if I should go over it agin I should lie the other way.
Good land! good land! what a world this is, and with all your care and watchfulness, how hard it is to keep walkin' right along, in Injun file, along the narrer rope walk of megumness and exact truth.
But I am a-eppisodin', and to resoom.
Wall, as I said, we didn't git home till pitch dark, and then I drempt of fish all night, and eels, and alligators, and such.

It wuz tegus.
[Illustration: I drempt of fish all night.] The next mornin' Josiah Allen met me all riz up with a new idee.
He had been out to buy a new pair of suspenders, his havin' gin out the day before; and he come to our room, where I wuz calmly settin' a-bastin' in some clean cotton lace into the sleeves of my alpaca dress.
And sez he right out abrup, with no preamble, "Samantha, less go down to the Fair Ground in a whale." "In a whale ?" sez I; "are you a loonatick, or what duz ail you, to try to make a pair of Jonahses of us at our age ?" "Wall," sez he, "they have 'em here to carry folks down to the Fair, I know, for I hearn it straight, and I should think we wuz jest the right age to go as easy as possible, and try experiments." "Wall," sez I firmly, "I hain't a-goin' to try no such experiment as that.