I didn't spoze that I should care much about readin' "The Peaceful, Prosperous, and Precious Performances of Man"-- But I bought it to help her along.

I knew that she would have to buy her "true so" (that is French, and means weddin' clothes), and I thought every little helped; but she said that it wuz "A be-a-u-tiful book, so full of man's noble deeds." "Wall," sez I, "you know that I always told you that you run men too much." "But," sez she, "I never drempt that men wuz such lovely creeters." "Oh, wall," sez I, "as for that, men have their spells of loveliness, jest like female mortals, and their spells of actin', like the old Harry." "Oh, no," sez she; "they are a beautiful race of bein's, almost perfect." "Wall," sez I, "I hope your opinion will hold out." But I don't spoze it will.

Six months of married life--dry days, and wet ones, meals on time, and meals late, insufficient kindlin' wood, washin' days, and cleanin' house will modify her transports; but I wouldn't put no dampers onto her.
I merely sez, "Oh, yes, Arvilly, men are likely creeters more'n half the time, and considerable agreeable." "Agreeable!" sez she; "they're almost divine." Arvilly always wuz most too ramptious in everything she undertook; she never loved to wander down the sweet, calm plains of Megumness, as I do.
And then I spoze Cephus made everything of her, and it wuz a real rarity to her to be made on and flattered up by a good-lookin' man.
But well he might make of her--he will be doin' dretful well to git Arvilly; she's a good worker and calculator, and her principles are like brass and iron for soundness; and she's real good-lookin', too, now--looks 'leven years younger, or ten and a half, anyway.
But jest as Arvilly and I wuz a-withdrawin' ourselves from each other, I sez, "Arvilly, have you been to the Fair Sundays ?" "No," sez she; "I didn't lay out to, for I could go week days.

'The Precious Performances' yields money to spare to take me there week days, and you know that I only wanted it open for them that couldn't git there any day but Sundays.

And also," sez she honestly, "I talked a good deal, bein' so mad at the Nation for makin' such dretful hard work partakin' of a gnat, and then swallerin' down Barnum's hull circus, side-shows and all.
"Why didn't the Nation shet up the saloons ?" sez she, in bitter axents.
"Folks can have their doubts about Sunday openin' bein' wicked, but the Lord sez expressly that 'no drunkard can inherit Heaven.' The nation wuz so anxious to set patterns before the young--why wuzn't it afraid to turn human bein's into fiends before 'em, liable to shoot down these dear young folks, or lead 'em into paths worse than death?
"And it wuz so anxious to show off well before foreign nations.