He said that he should pay the full premium for me that Uncle Henry's other clerks had had to pay, and from this no revulsion of feeling on my uncle's part would move him.

He was quite bland with Uncle Henry, and he was not quite bland towards me.
When I fairly grasped the situation (and I contrived to get a pretty clear account of it from my mother), there rushed upon me the conviction that a new phase had come over my prospects.

When I put aside my own longings for my father's will; and every time that office life seemed intolerable to me, and I was tempted to break my bonds, and thought better of it and settled down again, this thought had always remained behind: "I will try; and if the worst comes to the worst, and I really cannot settle down into a clerk, I can but run away then." But circumstances had altered my case, I felt that now I must make up my mind for good and all.

My father would have to make some little sacrifices to find the money, and when it was once paid, I could not let it be in vain.

Come what might, I must stick to the office then, and for life.
Some weeks passed whilst I was turning this over and over in my mind.