After believing, honestly believing, that love was one of the lost illusions of my life--after feeling, honestly feeling, that I would as soon look at the devil as look at a woman--there was the state of mind to which retribution had reduced me; using for his instrument Miss Emily Brown.
Oh, don't be afraid of what I may say next! In your presence, and out of your presence, I am man enough to be ashamed of my own folly.

I am resisting your influence over me at this moment, with the strongest of all resolutions--the resolution of despair.

Let's look at the humorous side of the story again.

What do you think I did when the regiment of young ladies had passed by me ?" Emily declined to guess.
"I followed you back to the school; and, on pretense of having a daughter to educate, I got one of Miss Ladd's prospectuses from the porter at the lodge gate.

I was in your neighborhood, you must know, on a sketching tour.