Without any doubt, Maria's self-consciousness, which was at its height at this time, helped her to endure the loss of her mother, and all the sad appurtenances of mourning.

She had a covert pleasure at the sight of her fair little face, in her black hat, above her black frock.

She realized a certain importance because of her grief.
However, there were times when the grief itself came uppermost; there were nights when she lay awake crying for her mother, when she was nothing but a bereft child in a vacuum of love.

Her father's tenderness could not make up to her for the loss of her mother's.
Very soon after her mother's death, his mercurial temperament jarred upon her.

She could not understand how he could laugh and talk as if nothing had happened.