[My Life as an Author by Martin Farquhar Tupper]@TWC D-Link bookMy Life as an Author CHAPTER XIV 2/9
Memory, imagination, zeal, perceptions of men and things, equally with rank and riches, have often cost their full price, as many mad have known; they take too much out of a man, fret, wear, worry him,--to be irritable is the conditional tax laid of old upon an author's intellect; the crowd of internal imagery makes him hasty, quick, nervous, as a haunted, hunted man--minds of coarser web heed not how small a thorn rends one of so delicate a texture,--they cannot estimate the wish that a duller sword were in a tougher scabbard,--the river, not content with channel and restraining banks, overflows perpetually,--the extortionate exacting armies of the ideal and the causal persecute MY spirit, and I would make a patriot stand at once to vanquish the invaders of my peace.
I write these things only to be quit of them, and not to let the crowd increase,--I have conceived a plan to destroy them all, as Jehu and Elijah with the priests of Baal; I feel Malthusian among my mental nurslings; a dire resolve has filled me to effect a premature destruction of the literary populace superfaetating in my brain,--plays, novels, essays, tales, homilies, and rhythmicals; for ethics and poetics, politics and rhetorics, will I display no more mercy than sundry commentators of maltreated Aristotle.
I will exhibit them in their state chaotic,--I will addle the eggs, and the chicken shall not chirp,--I will reveal, and secrets shall not waste me; I will write, and thoughts shall not batten on me." The whole volume, as before-mentioned, is an epitome or quintessence of more than thirty works,--perhaps the best being "The Prior of Marrick," a story of idolatry; "Anti-Xurion," a crusade against razors; and "The Author's Tribunal," an oration; but I confess, not having looked at the book since my hair was black (and now it is snow-white), and considering that I wrote it forty-five years ago, I am surprised to find how well worth reading is my old Author's Mind.
It may some day attain a resurrection: possibly even, in more than the skeleton form of its present appearance, muscles and skin being added, in a detailed filling up and finishing of these mere sketches, if only time and opportunity were given to me.
But I much fear at my time of life that my Tragedy of Nero must remain unwritten, as also my Novel of Charlotte Clopton, and that thrilling Handbook of the Marvellous; not to mention my abortive Epic of Home, and sundry essays, satires, and other lucubrations which, alas! may now be considered addled eggs.
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