I felt hard and bitter against it, but as I have been lying here I have come to see that I brought their suspicions upon myself by my own conduct, and that they had a thousand times better ground for suspecting me than I had for suspecting you.
"All that happened was my fault.

Martha cared for me once, but it was my cursed jealousy that drove her from me.

She was gay and light hearted, and it was natural for her to take her pleasure, which was harmless enough if I had not made a grievance of it.

If I had not driven her from me she would have been my wife long before harm came to her; but it was as well that it was not so, for as I was then I know I should have made her life a hell.
"I did it all and I have been punished for it.

Even at the end she might never have gone off if I had not shouted out and tried to climb the wall.