[Mr. Sponge’s Sporting Tour by R. S. Surtees]@TWC D-Link book
Mr. Sponge’s Sporting Tour

CHAPTER XLV
7/9

This I (puff) think,' continued he, eyeing the great ball with which he had got it up, 'will (wheeze) come in most valuably (puff) for my great (puff--wheeze--gasp) national undertaking--the (puff) Kings and (wheeze) Queens of Great Britain (gasp).' 'What are _they_ ?' asked Mr.Sponge, astonished at his vehemence.
'Oh! (puff--wheeze--gasp) haven't you heard ?' exclaimed Mr.Jogglebury, taking off his great woolly hat, and giving his lank, dark hair, streaked with grey, a sweep round his low forehead with the bandana.

'Oh! (puff--gasp) haven't you heard ?' repeated he, getting a little more breath.

'I'm (wheeze) undertaking a series of (gasp) sticks, representing--( gasp)--immortalizing, I may say (puff), all the (wheeze) crowned heads of England (puff).' 'Indeed!' replied Mr.Sponge.
'They'll be a most valuable collection (wheeze--puff),' continued Mr.
Jogglebury, still eyeing the knob.

'This,' added he, 'shall be William the Fourth.' He then commenced lopping and docking the sides, making Bartholomew Badger bury them in a sand-pit hard by, observing, in a confidential wheeze to Mr.Sponge, 'that he had once been county-courted for a similar trespass before.' The top and lop being at length disposed of, Mr.Crowdey, grasping the club-end, struck the other forcibly against the ground, exclaiming, 'There!--there's a (puff) stick! Who knows what that (puff--wheeze) stick may be worth some day ?' He then bundled into his carriage and drove on.
Two more stoppages marked their arrival at the other sticks, which being duly captured and fastened within the straps of the carriage-apron, Mr.
Crowdey drove on somewhat more at ease in his mind, at all events somewhat comforted at the thoughts of having increased his wealth.

He did not become talkative--indeed that was not his forte, but he puffed into his shirt-frill, and made a few observations, which, if they did not possess much originality, at all events showed that he was not asleep.
'Those are draining-tiles,' said he, after a hearty stare at a cart-load.
Then about five minutes after he blew again, and said, 'I don't think (puff) that (wheeze) draining without (gasp) manuring will constitute high farming (puff).' So he jolted and wheezed, and jerked and jagged the old quadruped's mouth, occasionally hissing between his teeth, and stamping against the bottom of the carriage, when other persuasive efforts failed to induce it to keep up the semblance of a trot.


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