[Mr. Sponge’s Sporting Tour by R. S. Surtees]@TWC D-Link book
Mr. Sponge’s Sporting Tour

CHAPTER III
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Humiliation, however, has its limits as well as other things; and Peter having been invited to descend from his box--alas! a regular country patent leather one, and invest himself in a Quaker-collared blue coat, with a red vest, and a pair of blue trousers with a broad red stripe down the sides, to drive the Honourable old Miss Wrinkleton, of Harley Street, to Court in a 'one oss pianoforte-case,' as he called a Clarence, he could stand it no longer, and, chucking the nether garments into the fire, he rushed frantically up the area-steps, mounted his box, and quilted the old crocodile of a horse all the way home, accompanying each cut with an imprecation such as '_me_ make a guy of myself!' (whip) '_me_ put on sich things!' (whip, whip) '_me_ drive down Sin Jimses-street!' (whip, whip, whip), '_I'd_ see her -- -- fust!' (whip, whip, whip), cutting at the old horse just as if he was laying it into Miss Wrinkleton, so that by the time he got home he had established a considerable lather on the old nag, which his master resenting a row ensued, the sequel of which may readily be imagined.

After assisting Mrs.Clearstarch, the Kilburn laundress, in getting in and taking out her washing, for a few weeks, chance at last landed him at Mr.Benjamin Buckram's, from whence he is now about to be removed to become our hero Mr.Sponge's Sancho Panza, in his fox-hunting, fortune-hunting career, and disseminate in remote parts his doctrines of the real honour and dignity of servitude.

Now to the inspection.
Peter Leather, having a peep-hole as well as his master, on seeing Mr.
Sponge arrive, had given himself an extra rub over, and covered his dirty shirt with a clean, well-tied, white kerchief, and a whole coloured scarlet waistcoat, late the property of one of his noble employers, in hopes that Sponge's visit might lead to something.

Peter was about sick of the suburbs, and thought, of course, that he couldn't be worse off than where he was.
'Here's Mr.Sponge wants some osses,' observed Mr.Buckram, as Leather met them in the middle of the little yard, and brought his right arm round with a sort of military swing to his forehead; 'what 'ave we in ?' continued Buckram, with the air of a man with so many horses that he didn't know what were in and what were out.
'Vy we 'ave Rumbleton in,' replied Leather, thoughtfully, stroking down his hair as he spoke, 'and we 'ave Jack o'Lanthorn in, and we 'ave the Camel in, and there's the little Hirish oss with the sprig tail--Jack-a-Dandy, as I calls him, and the Flyer will be in to-night, he's just out a hairing, as it were, with old Mr.Callipash.' 'Ah, Rumbleton won't do for Mr.Sponge,' observed Buckram, thoughtfully, at the same time letting go a tremendous avalanche of silver down his trouser pocket, 'Rumbleton won't do,' repeated he, 'nor Jack-a-Dandy nouther.' 'Why, I wouldn't commend neither on 'em,' replied Peter, taking his cue from his master, 'only ven you axes me vot there's in, you knows vy I must give you a _cor_-rect answer, in course.' 'In course,' nodded Buckram.
Leather and Buckram had a good understanding in the lying line, and had fallen into a sort of tacit arrangement that if the former was staunch about the horses he was at liberty to make the best terms he could for himself.

Whatever Buckram said, Leather swore to, and they had established certain signals and expressions that each understood.
'I've an unkimmon nice oss,' at length observed Mr.Buckram, with a scrutinizing glance at Sponge, 'and an oss in hevery respect werry like your work, but he's an oss I'll candidly state, I wouldn't put in every one's 'ands, for, in the fust place, he's wery walueous, and in the second, he requires an ossman to ride; howsomever, as I knows that you _can_ ride, and if you doesn't mind taking my 'ead man,' jerking his elbow at Leather, 'to look arter him, I wouldn't mind 'commodatin' on you, prowided we can 'gree upon terms.' 'Well, let's see him,' interrupted Sponge, 'and we can talk about terms after.' 'Certainly, sir, certainly,' replied Buckram, again letting loose a reaccumulated rush of silver down his pocket.


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