Tell him, if he's troublesome, we won't bespeak any more carriages; and, I'm sure, I wish you would not be so silly, my lord, to employ him any more, when you know he disappointed me the last birthday about the landau, which I have not got yet.' 'Nonsense, my dear,'said Lord Clonbrony; 'you don't know what you are talking of.

Terry, I say, even a friendly execution is an ugly thing.' 'Phoo! phoo!--an ugly thing! So is a fit of the gout--but one's all the better for it after.

'Tis just a renewal of life, my lord, for which one must pay a bit of a fine, you know.

Take patience, and leave me to manage all properly--you know I'm used to these things, Only you recollect, if you please, how I managed my friend Lord -- ; it's bad to be mentioning names--but Lord EVERYBODY-KNOWS-WHO--didn't I bring him through cleverly, when there was that rascally attempt to seize the family plate?
I had notice, and what did I do, but broke open a partition between that lord's house and my lodgings, which I had taken next door; and so, when the sheriff's officers were searching below on the ground floor, I just shoved the plate easy through to my bedchamber at a moment's warning, and then bid the gentlemen walk in, for they couldn't set a foot in my paradise, the devils! So they stood looking at it through the wall, and cursing me and I holding both my sides with laughter at their fallen faces.' Sir Terence and Lord Clonbrony laughed in concert.
'This is a good story,' said Miss Nugent, smiling; 'but surely, Sir Terence, such things are never done in real life ?' 'Done! ay, are they; and I could tell you a hundred better strokes, my dear Miss Nugent.' 'Grace!' cried Lady Clonbrony, 'do pray have the goodness to seal and send these notes; for really,' whispered she, as her niece came to the table,'I CAWNT STEA, I cawnt bear that man's VICE, his accent grows horrider and horrider!' Her ladyship rose, and left the room.
'Why, then,' continued Sir Terence, following up Miss Nugent to the table, where she was sealing letters, 'I must tell you how I sarved that same man on another occasion, and got the victory too.' No general officer could talk of his victories, or fight his battles o'er again, with more complacency than Sir Terence O'Fay recounted his CIVIL exploits.
'Now I'll tell Miss Nugent.

There was a footman in the family, not an Irishman, but one of your powdered English scoundrels that ladies are so fond of having hanging to the backs of their carriages; one Fleming he was, that turned spy, and traitor, and informer, went privately and gave notice to the creditors where the plate was hid in the thickness of the chimney; but if he did, what happened! Why, I had my counter-spy, an honest little Irish boy, in the creditor's shop, that I had secured with a little douceur of usquebaugh; and he outwitted, as was natural, the English lying valet, and gave us notice just in the nick, and I got ready for their reception; and, Miss Nugent, I only wish you'd seen the excellent sport we had, letting them follow the scent they got; and when they were sure of their game, what did they find ?--Ha! ha! ha!--dragged out, after a world of labour, a heavy box of--a load of brickbats; not an item of my friend's plate--that was all snug in the coal-hole, where them dunces never thought of looking for it.