The Christian feeling was furiously for one and furiously against the other: these two things that looked so much alike were at opposite ends of heaven and hell.

One man flung away his life; he was so good that his dry bones could heal cities in pestilence.

Another man flung away life; he was so bad that his bones would pollute his brethren's.

I am not saying this fierceness was right; but why was it so fierce?
Here it was that I first found that my wandering feet were in some beaten track.

Christianity had also felt this opposition of the martyr to the suicide: had it perhaps felt it for the same reason?
Had Christianity felt what I felt, but could not (and cannot) express--this need for a first loyalty to things, and then for a ruinous reform of things?
Then I remembered that it was actually the charge against Christianity that it combined these two things which I was wildly trying to combine.