I did not see why God, for His own purposes--and, what is more, I believe He does--should not remove a man by suicide, if He allows him to die by a horrible disease or relegates him to insanity.

Suicide is only a symptom of a certain pitch of mental distress: its incidental result is death, but so it is of many practices not immoral.
"It required considerable nerve, I confess, to make the resolution; but once made, I did not flinch.

I considered the impulse to be a true leading, quite as true as the other intuitions which I have before now successfully followed, so I made my arrangements all day.
It gave me a wonderful sense of calm and certainty--there was a feeling of repose about the completion of a restless existence, as if I was at last about to slide into quiet waters, and be taught directly, and not by obscure and painful monitions.
"At nine o'clock I went to my room.

There was a full moon, which shone in at the open window; the garden was wonderfully still and fragrant.
"I found myself wondering whether, when the thing was over, I should awake to consciousness at once; whether the freed soul would have, so to speak, a local origin, a _terminus a quo_: in plain words, whether my spirit would pass through the house and through the quiet garden to some mysterious home, taking in the earthly impression as it soared past with a single complete undimmed sense--or whether I should step, as it were, straight into a surrounding sea of sensation and be merged at once, feeling through all space and time and matter by the spiritual fibres of which I should make a part.

Do you understand me?
I have often wondered at that.
"At last I drew out the flask, and touched the spring.