At times others were intolerable, at times he was intolerable to himself, reproaching himself for having attempted so high a life, criticising his fellows for so lowering it to a poor standard.
* * * * * The first time that he was accused in chapter of a fault against the Rule was a very great and shocking humiliation.
He had accused himself as usual on his knees of his own remissions, of making an unnecessarily loud noise in drinking, of intoning a wrong antiphon as cantor, of spilling crumbs in the refectory; and then leaned back on his heels well content with the insignificance of his list, to listen with a discreet complacency to old Dom Adrian, who had overslept himself once, spilled his beer twice, criticised his superior, and talked aloud to himself four times during the Greater Silence, and who now mumbled out his crimes hastily and unconcernedly.
When the self-accusations were done, the others began, and to his horror Chris heard his own name spoken.
"I accuse Dom Christopher Torridon of not keeping the guard of the eyes at Terce this morning." It was perfectly true; Chris had been so much absorbed in noticing an effect of shade thrown by a corbel, and in plans for incorporating it into his illumination that he had let a verse pass as far as the star that marked the pause.

He felt his heart leap with resentment.

Then a flash of retort came to him, and he waited his turn.
"I accuse Dom Bernard Parr of not keeping the guard of the eyes at Terce this morning.

He was observing me." Just the faintest ripple passed round the line; and then the Prior spoke with a tinge of sharpness, inflicting the penances, and giving Chris a heavy sentence of twenty strokes with the discipline.
When Chris's turn came he threw back his habit petulantly, and administered his own punishment as the custom was, with angry fervour.
As he was going out the Prior made him a sign, and took him through into his own cell.
"Counter-accusations are contrary to the Rule," he said.

"It must not happen again," and dismissed him sternly.
And then Chris for a couple of days had a fierce struggle against uncharitableness, asking himself whether he had not eyed Dom Bernard with resentment, and then eyeing him again.