It was not for lack of ardour that I wished to leave the monastery; it was because, truthfully, I had a fever on me of greater activity; because, truthfully, I was not sure of my vocation; because, truthfully, I doubted whether such gifts and such wealth and such education as were mine could not be used better in the world than in the cloister.

I knew that I could take a place to-morrow in either the French or the English Court, without disgracing myself or others; and it was precisely of this that I had spoken to my Lord Abbot; and here was our Holy Father himself putting into words those very ambitions that I had.

I met his eyes, and knew that I was beginning to flush.
"Well, my son ?" he said.
"Holy Father," I said, "my virtues and capacities, such as they are, I must leave to my superiors.

But my desires are those of which your Holiness has spoken.

I ask no wages: I ask only to be allowed to serve whatever cause my superiors may assign to me." He continued to look at me, and for very shame I presently dropped my eyes again.
"Well, my Lord Abbot ?" he said again.