What little regularity his life had known departed to that limbo that had claimed his peace of mind.

That he felt himself abnormally methodic lay entirely in the fact that he watered the fern each day.

It had for him a morbid fascination.
Incomprehensible forces were sapping his faith in himself and the future; and viciously at war with them, he nursed his grievance against Brian only to find that it was less robust than any grievance should be.

At any cost he wanted Brian back.
"He's taken care of me," remembered Kenny sadly, "since he was a bit of a lad." As ever, the thing withheld, Kenny ardently desired.

That thing was Brian's presence.