[The Tithe-Proctor by William Carleton]@TWC D-Link bookThe Tithe-Proctor CHAPTER X 7/12
I should indeed be sorry to cause you any additional fatigue, or to fetch you from your house at such an hour.
I will therefore put myself under the protection and guidance of these worthy fellows, who, I hope, will remember that although a friend to Mr.Purcel personally, yet I am none to any harshness he may have resorted to for the recovery of his tithes." "There's nobody here," replied the still friendly voice, "inclined to offer you any offense, bekaise you happen to be a friend to Mr. Purcel"-- and there was a marked emphasis laid upon the name--"so now," the voice proceeded, "you may make your mind aisy on that head." A singular but significant laugh proceeded, from the other two, which, however, was repressed by a glance from "the friend," who said, "Come, boys, turn out; now, sir, the sooner we get over this journey the betther." "Well, Finnerty," said M'Carthy, "many thanks for the hospitable shelter of your house, and to you also, Mrs.Finnerty, for your kindness and the trouble I have occasioned you." Mrs.Finnerty's voice had now nearly abandoned her; and, as our young sportsman, after having shaken hands with her husband, now paid that compliment to herself, he perceived that the poor creature's hand was literally passive and cold as ice, whilst the words she attempted to utter literally died away unspoken on her lips. Having got about a mile from the house, his unknown friend began to become loquacious, and related several anecdotes of successful escape from the meshes and minions of the law, a theme in which his two companions seemed to take singular delight; for they laughed immoderately at every recorded victory in outwitting the legal functionaries aforesaid. "I was wanst upon a time," he proceeded, "taken up for a resky; (* a rescue) the case bein' you see, that we wanted the rent and the landlord wanted patience; so begad, at any rate, we gev the bloody bailiffs a thrifle for themselves, and the consequence was that we brought the cows back to a neighbor's place that belonged to another property, and the four bailiffs, poor creatures, lay upon the ground lookin' at us, an' never said ill we did it, for a raison they had; do you undherstand, boys ?" "Ay, we do undherstand; the bloddy thieves; divil break his neck that invinted rint, anyhow; sure there's no harm in wishin' that, the villain." "Ay, an' tides," (* Tithes) replied the other; "however, we'll settle that first, and then the rents will soon follow them; an' sure there's no harm in that aither." "Well an' good:--no, divil a harm's in it;--well an' good: to make a long story short, they grabbed me in a house up in the mountains--not unlike Finnerty's, I think that's his name--where I was on my keepin'; so what 'ud you have of it, but we were comin' acrass the hills, jist as it might be said we are now--only there's none of us a prisoner, thank goodness--hem! Well, I said to myself, hit or miss, I'll thry it; I have a pair o' legs, an' it won't be my fault or I'll put them to the best use: an' for that raison it'll be divil take the hindmost wid us.
Now listen, boys; I started off, an' one fellow that had a pistol let bang at me, but long life to the pistol, divil a one of it would go off; bang again came the other chap's, but 'twas ditto repaited, and no go any more than the other.
Well, do you know now, that the third fellow--for there was only three af them, I must tell you--the third fellow, I'm inclined to think, was a friend at bottom; for the devil a one of him struv to break his heart in overtakin' me.
Well, by that manes, I say, I got off from two of as double-distilled villains as ever wor born to die by suspin-sion." This narrative, the spirit of which was so acceptable to his two companions, and, if truth must be told, equally so to the third, was treasured up by M'Carthy, who felt that it ingeniously but cautiously pointed out to him the course he should adopt under his own peculiar circumstances.
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