For one thing, Allan would be held in bounds by fear of the world, even if his love for you were inadequate to hold him." "It's no use trying to make you understand, Aunt Bell--you _can't!_" Whereupon Aunt Bell neglected her former device of pretending that she did, indeed, understand, and bluntly asked: "Well, what is it, child ?" "Nothing, nothing, nothing, Aunt Bell--it's only what he _is_." "What he _is_?
A handsome, agreeable, healthy, good-tempered, loyal, upright, irreproachable--" "Aunt Bell, he's _killing_ me.

I seem to want to laugh when I tell you, because it's so funny that he should have the power to--but I tell you he's killing out all the good in me--a little bit every day.

I can't even _want_ to be good.

Oh, how stupid to think you could see--that any one could see! Sometimes I do forget and laugh all at once.

It's as grotesque and unreal as an imaginary monster I used to be afraid of--then I'm sick, for I remember we are bound together by the laws of God and man.