[Little Essays of Love and Virtue by Havelock Ellis]@TWC D-Link book
Little Essays of Love and Virtue

CHAPTER I
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But it is clear that the father takes seriously the right of a daughter to govern herself and to decide for herself between right and wrong.

It is his object, he tells his girls, "to enable them to govern themselves." In this task he assumes that they are entitled to full knowledge, and we feel that he is not instructing them in the mysteries of that knowledge; he is taking for granted, in the advice he gives and the stories he tells them, that his "young and small daughters, not, poor things, overburdened with experience," already possess the most precise knowledge of the intimate facts of life, and that he may tell them, without turning a hair, the most outrageous incidents of debauchery.

Life already lies naked before them: that he assumes; he is not imparting knowledge, he is giving good counsel.[3] [3] If the Knight went to an extreme in his assumption of his daughters' knowledge, modern fathers often go to the opposite and more foolish extreme of assuming in their daughters an ignorance that would be dangerous even if it really existed.

In _A Young Girl's Diary_ (translated from the German by Eden and Cedar Paul), a work that is highly instructive for parents, and ought to be painful for many, we find the diarist noting at the age of thirteen that she and a girl friend of about the same age overheard the father of one of them--both well brought up and carefully protected, one Catholic and the other Protestant--referring to "those innocent children." "We did laugh so, WE and _innocent children_!!! What our fathers really think of us; we innocent!!! At dinner we did not dare look at one another or we should have exploded." It need scarcely be added that, at the same time, they were more innocent than they knew.
It is clear that this kind of education and this attitude towards children must be regarded as the outcome of the whole mediaeval method of life.

In a state of society where roughness and violence, though not, as we sometimes assume, chronic, were yet always liable to be manifested, it was necessary for every man and woman to be able to face the crudest facts of the world and to be able to maintain his or her own rights against them.


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