I tell you I am on the very verge of insanity; why, cruel girl, do you drive me on: you will repent and I shall die." When I repeat his words I wonder at my pertinacious folly; I hardly know what feelings resis[t]lessly impelled me.

I believe it was that coming out with a determination not to be repulsed I went right forward to my object without well weighing his replies: I was led by passion and drew him with frantic heedlessness into the abyss that he so fearfully avoided--I replied to his terrific words: "You fill me with affright it is true, dearest father, but you only confirm my resolution to put an end to this state of doubt.

I will not be put off thus: do you think that I can live thus fearfully from day to day--the sword in my bosom yet kept from its mortal wound by a hair--a word!--I demand that dreadful word; though it be as a flash of lightning to destroy me, speak it.
"Alas! Alas! What am I become?
But a few months have elapsed since I believed that I was all the world to you; and that there was no happiness or grief for you on earth unshared by your Mathilda--your child: that happy time is no longer, and what I most dreaded in this world is come upon me.

In the despair of my heart I see what you cannot conceal: you no longer love me.

I adjure you, my father, has not an unnatural passion seized upon your heart?
Am I not the most miserable worm that crawls?
Do I not embrace your knees, and you most cruelly repulse me?
I know it--I see it--you hate me!" I was transported by violent emotion, and rising from his feet, at which I had thrown myself, I leant against a tree, wildly raising my eyes to heaven.