She wanted to scream and pull Fidelia's hair with savage fingers.

She wanted to bump her head against the wall, again and again.

But with an effort so great that it made her tremble, she controlled herself, and stood looking steadily at Fidelia without a word.
"I mustn't speak," she kept saying desperately to herself.

"I mustn't speak, or my tempah will get away with me.

I might claw her eyes out.