I have even gained a friend by the move, a learned and agreeable companion, in the Abbe Plomb.

So why ?" And then one morning, unexpectedly, every thing was plain to him.

He saw quite clearly that he was on the wrong track, and without even seeking for it he found the right one.
To discover the unknown source of his flaccid longing for he knew not what, and his inexplicable dissatisfaction, he had only to look back a little way and pause at La Trappe.

He saw now everything had begun there.

Having reached that culminating point of his retrospect, he could, as it were, stand on a height and command a view of the declining years since he had left the monastery; and now, gazing at that descending panorama of his life, he discerned this:-- That from the time of his return to Paris a craving for the cloister had been incessantly permeating his being; he had unremittingly cherished the dream of retiring from the world, of living peacefully as a recluse near to God.
He had, to be sure, only thought of it definitely in the form of impossible longings and regrets, for he knew full well that neither was his body strong enough nor his soul staunch enough for him to bury himself as a Trappist.